Are things going well, not so well, or somewhere in between? This time of year can be stressful as hell, whether it’s financial, personal, or both. We’re reflecting on the challenges and changes from this year while also trying to set intentions for the year ahead, which is a lot to hold at once.

Let me remind you of something real quick. You are grown. You can do what you want. Remember when you were a kid and you told yourself that once you grew up you’d finally be able to do that one thing whenever you wanted, or that you would never have to do that thing you hated ever again? Yeah. That time is now. Have you been doing the things you said you would? Did you actually stop doing the shit you don’t like, or did you just trade one version of it for another?

This year, I’ve been challenging my own ideas and beliefs around success. What I’m learning and actively trying to internalize is that success is not linear. A lot of the expectations we hold for ourselves or our lives no longer serve us, and we are allowed to let them go. When we do, it becomes easier to build a life that actually aligns with our values. We are not our parents or our grandparents, so their timelines and definitions of success do not have to be ours. Focus on your life and what’s best for you and yours today and tomorrow, not yesterday.

I talk more about celebrating our wins, unrealistic expectations, and the ways we minimize our own success here:

This month’s book recommendation is Black AF History: The Un-Whitewashed Story of America by Michael Harriot. I listened to the audiobook and learned a lot of things I’m very sure they didn’t teach you in school either. It’s informative, funny, infuriating and very un-whitewashed. You can buy it wherever you buy stuff, or you can read or listen to it for free on the Libby app. #Not an ad.

1. I am allowed to redefine success on my own terms.
My life does not need to follow anyone else’s timeline or expectations.

2. I can release what no longer serves me without guilt.
Letting go makes room for something better aligned with who I am now.

3. My progress counts, even if it doesn’t look perfect or linear.
Growth is still growth, even when it’s messy.

4. I honor the version of me that survived this year.
I did the best I could with what I had, and that matters.

5. I choose intentions over pressure as I move into the new year.
I don’t need to rush or force what will come in time.

As we close this year out, give yourself some credit. You made it through shit you didn’t think you would, learned things you didn’t ask to learn, and kept going even when you were tired. That counts. You don’t have to have everything figured out right now. You just need to be honest with yourself about what you want to carry forward and what you’re finally ready to put down.

If you had a win this year, big or small, I want to hear about it. If you learned something about yourself, even if it came the hard way, share that too. Email your wins, reflections, or breakthroughs to [email protected]. Your story might help someone else feel less alone.

Got questions about mental health, therapy, boundaries, or self-care as we head into a new year? Send those in as well. I may not have every answer, but I’ll help point you in the right direction.

Happy Holidays & Happy New Year!

You’ve reached the end. Thanks for reading. If you have’t already go ahead and subscribe and lets grow this thing together. Also, do me a favor a forward this to 2-3 people who you think would enjoy reading my monthly writings. I greatly appreciate you and have a great rest of your day!